Isn’t it funny how in our culture (at least here in the States), we’re afraid to ask for help. We often tell our friends “let me know if you need anything..” “let me know if you need any help…” but then just leave it at that and don’t always go through with it.

We know we need the help, and our friends want to help us, but there’s this awkward sense of asking people to help us and actually going through with it, that we avoid. Why is this?? Motherhood is hard! We need them

There’s so much truth to it when we say it takes a village! Motherhood takes a village!

After having my first baby and also being in the field of lactation and postpartum doula work, I’ve learned how important it is to vocalize and tell people how we need the help.

My husband and I moved houses when I was 34weeks pregnant and I was feeling overwhelmed and anxious about getting ready for the baby. So much unpacking to do, so many things I wanted to get done before the baby arrived. I was venting to my mom who lives across the country how overwhelmed I was and she suggested I invite one or two friends over to help me unpack…and well that’s what gave me the idea to throw a Nesting Party!

Around 36 weeks pregnant with my second baby, I invited some friends and my sister who lives 5hrs away to come to my Nesting Party.

I’d never been to one before, I searched all over Pinterest to see how to do one and guess what…there was NOTHING!!! There were “nesting theme” baby showers, but nothing on how to throw a nesting party because it’s not really a thing.

Lots of ideas for Baby Showers, Baby Sprinkles, Blessingway/Mother’s Blessing, etc.

But what was a Nesting Party?

After posting my reel on instagram, so many of you messaged me asking me to elaborate more on what I did and share some of my ideas for things you could possibly do. So here I am, telling you that you should most DEFINITELY do something like this, and will let you in on some of my tips, but definitely make this your own!

1. Practice the 80/20 rule

If you’re a Type-A person and like to be in control of how you put your nursery together, or your nursing cart, etc, but you’re feeling overwhelmed and would like the help, then practice the 80/20 rule.

For myself, I’m not a huge Type A person and I’ve always lived with the 80/20 rule for delegating tasks. 80% someone else does the work and 20% is my finishing touch. I use this philosophy with my nutrition interns, at my old job where I was an interim director of the WIC clinic and most recently at my Nesting Party =) It honestly takes the pressure off everyone, because I’m not expecting it to be perfect and neither are they. As long as the bulk of the work is done (80%), I’m fine adding my 20% touch.

But honestly, my friends did an AMAZING job at my party and I didn’t even go back to change things! It was a huge blessing and a huge help!

If you’re a type-A person though, try practicing the 80/20 rule.

2. Think about the tasks you’ll want done

I had 5 main tasks I wanted done and was feeling overwhelmed about. They were: the nursery and unpacking allll the new baby clothes I’d gotten; my nursing station, meal prepping some meals, my bathroom kit – specifically making the padsicles, putting together my hospital bag (which I ended up just doing that), and gathering toys and making toy baggies to keep my toddler occupied when nursing.

Other tasks could be cleaning different rooms and areas of the house, cleaning new toys and clothes, etc

With each task, I created a basket with all the necessities and items I wanted to include. I then wrote out instructions on how I wanted things to be done. For example, for my nursery – I wrote out that I wanted just the newborn and 0-3month clothes in the dresser, and all the other clothes, I wanted in a bin organized by size.

For my nursing cart – I wrote out what I wanted on each tier (first tier breastfeeding supplies, second tier baby items like diapers, burp cloth etc, then third tier my pump supplies)

3. Start the party off with food and drinks and social time

People love food…obviously. As a thank you for helping you, I’d encourage making some tasty brunch food and having some drinks. I had both non-alcoholic drinks (hi I’m pregnant ?) and some mimosa stuff. I made my egg casserole, made a fruit salad, and someone brought donuts. I also had fruit infused water and coffee.

As people trickled in, they served themselves and we sat around talking, catching up, and having fun. I found a playlist on Spotify that was a playlist with all the songs having the word “Baby” in it. We played a game where you were given a necklace when you arrived, and if you said the word ‘baby’, you got your necklace taken away.

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I really love words of encouragement and at my baby shower with my first baby, I had a time of words of encouragement where we went around the room giving some words of encouragement. Instead of doing this at my Nesting party, I opted people to write it down so I could refer back to it in the postpartum period.

I intentionally asked them to write words of encouragement for the POSTPARTUM PERIOD – for when I need encouragement during those late night feedings, when I’m exhausted, when I want to give up on breastfeeding etc. I know people do words of affirmation for labor and delivery, but I feel like the postpartum period is a much longer and daunting time period than birth

Feel free to print and use my template that I made

I had some other ice breaker games in mind but we actually didn’t end up playing them, we just talked and had fun, then went right into our tasks.

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4. Either delegate tasks or let them choose their task

I personally had everyone choose their own task, so after we mingled and ate, I thanked everyone for coming and expressed my huge appreciation for their help, then showed them all the tasks that I’d laid out on the table and reviewed what all I wanted for my tasks:

Everyone then came up to the table and grabbed what they wanted to work on. If you have a task that you know a certain person would enjoy or be good at doing, then you can definitely assign tasks to people

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5. Don’t stress

The point of a nesting party is to help YOU out. Sometimes planning a party is even more stressful, so if planning a party overwhelms you, reach out to a close friend to help you out. There were a few times I was worried this wouldn’t be fun and I was worried that no one would actually show up…don’t let those worries get to you. Also this is totally doable with just 1 or 2 friends! So don’t feel like you need to invite 10+ people. Invite people who you know would do something like this and someone who wants to help you.

To help take some of the load off, maybe buy premade breakfast stuff, or make it potluck style..make this your own 🙂

Conclusion

In conclusion, like I said above, the point of a nesting party is to help YOU out as the pregnant mom to be and to help YOU prepare for the postpartum period. Your friends and family want to help you. It’s more than OKAY to ask them for help. It’s time we start normalizing reaching out for help and making “Nesting Parties” a thing.

Leave me a comment and let me know what kind of tasks you’d have people do or what ideas you’d throw out there to include in your nesting party. Maybe you have people bring a frozen meal when they arrive, maybe they sign up on the calendar when they plan to bring you a meal, or they sign up for a day of the week to watch your older children for a couple hours.

If you want to learn more about how to feel CONFIDENT and PREPARED to conquer the postpartum period, check out my online course – Baby Ready, where you’ll learn all about preparing for the postpartum period, how nutrition affects recovery, the ins and out of breastfeeding, plus more! You’ll receive my checklists, video recordings, handouts, and you’ll get to join the community of postpartum mothers and feel confident today!