It’s been 3 weeks since I birthed my beautiful baby girl, Audrey Ann Gast. My goal had been to write my birth story by 2 weeks, butttt having a newborn has really been a learning experience with my time management. Trying to add a sentence here and there in between chores, her feedings, and my naps.

I thought I’d write my birth story, both for myself to remember, and for those who are curious and like hearing these stories. I personally love hearing other mother’s birth stories. All throughout my pregnancy, I listened to different podcasts of women sharing their births. I follow many midwives and doulas on social media and have fallen in love with birth photography. No matter how the mother gave birth – whether c-section, epidural, all natural, free birth etc, I’m so fascinated by how we as women birth babies.

I thought I’d share my own birth story. I cover the actual birth, things I recommend you bring, and body surprises I didn’t know about.

My birth was painful, beautiful, and scary…

Audrey Ann Gast was born February 11, 2019, 11 days past her expected due date. She was born at 41 weeks and 4 days, which was pushing it per my midwife. Many OBs and midwives are fine to go past 42 weeks, but my midwife said there isn’t enough research to support the benefits of going past 42 weeks. She recommends not going longer than 41 weeks, so we were able to compromise on 41 weeks and 4 days.

My midwife told me she wasn’t able to strip my membranes, because I was GBS positive,so she encouraged me to do all the natural inducing mechanisms, since I really wanted to go into labor naturally.

To induce labor naturally, I got a prenatal massage, chiropractic care, tried reflexology, ate pineapple, ate dates, had sex, walked 4+ miles a day, took evening primrose oil both orally and vaginally, did nipple stimulation, and clary sage oil. The only thing I didn’t do, was castor oil, which was discouraged by my midwife because it can cause GI issues.

Let me tell you…all these natural inducing techniques is BS and just a wives tale… none of it worked!

My scheduled induction day was Sunday February 10. I was to come in at 4 pm and start a medication called cervidil, which is supposed to “ripen your cervix.” I thought after doing all my natural inducing techniques I would have had some cervical ripening but nope! I was shocked! I was a 0, my cervix still very thick and had 0% effaced! I couldn’t believe it. It just shows that if your body isn’t ready, none of those natural techniques will help.

I started the cervidil around 5:45 pm. My husband and I hung out, watched a movie, then went to sleep around 9 pm.

Around 11:30pm, I woke up with some contractions. I had never felt contractions before this. They felt like period cramps that come and go every 10+ minutes. I woke up every couple hours that night, due to the uncomfortable pain. I started to practice my breathing and mind over matter to help get through those contractions (although looking back, they were nothing!).

The only “nice” thing about contractions is that they come and go like waves. They’ll be very intense, but last for about 30-60 seconds before you have a break then onto the next one. I would count and breathe through each contraction, just looking forward to the break.

With each breath I’d count – “one, two, three, four…” Typically my contractions lasted about 30 seconds, so I’d just count to that and know that it was coming to an end.

I had the cervidil in me for 12 hours. At 5:45 am they took the cervidil out, and I was only at a 1 with some cervical ripening! They started me on 2ml of pitocin, and increased it by 2ml every 30 minutes. The goal was to get to 20ml.

I ate a granola bar around 7 am to give me energy for the day and since I was still feeling somewhat fine. However with the pitocin, the contractions started to get worse and worse.

Around 9:20am, I threw up. The pain and nausea were starting to get worse. The contractions weren’t that regular just yet, so I tried to sleep in between contractions.

At 10 am they did another cervical check and I was at 4cm and 80% effaced. Baby’s head was very low. It was about this time, my husband contacted our doula and birth photographer. My contractions were getting worse and worse but still pretty spread out. I had conversations with my husband, doula, nurses and birth photographer, and took pictures in between contractions.

I remember saying “Quick, let’s take a picture before the next contraction!”

At 1:30 pm, they did another cervical check and I was between 6-7cm dialated and 90% effaced.

2:20 pm, I was 8-9cm and 100% effaced

3:30 pm, I was a 10 and ready to push. My body was shaking and I had this urge to push. It felt like I needed to go poop. I told the nursing staff, I have to push, she’s coming out! They told me “NO! You can’t push yet…your OB isn’t here yet!” My husband got mad, asking where he was… I told them I couldn’t wait and she was coming out! For 20 minutes, we waited for the OB as I was trying to hold out, but continued to have the strong urge to push.

The OB finally got there at 3:50 pm. Apparently he didn’t think I was going to progress as fast as I was, considering I’m a first time mom… (um…I’m on pitocin! You’re increasing it rapidly..yeah I’m going to progress pretty fast!)

The contractions were SO SO painful! I remember moaning, then full on screaming. I told my husband, I couldn’t do it. “You can do it, you’ve got it babe…” “You’re right! I do! I can do this.” Instead of my husband telling me to breathe, which I would find very annoying, he himself would take deep breaths, and it reminded me to mimic him and take deep, steady breaths.

I definitely thought about getting the epidural, but they told me it would still take about an hour till it took effect (between contacting the anesthesiologist, administering it, then having the effect). I felt like I had endured so much pain already, that what was the point of the epidural – I felt like everything I’d been through, would just “go to waste” so to speak. My doula and husband continued to encourage me and tell me I COULD do it; that the pain was temporary.

I pushed for 20 minutes. I can’t remember exactly how many pushes I went through but I’m going to say about 8? With every push, I felt like I was giving it my all. I would tell myself, “okay this is it – this push will get my baby out…” but then it didn’t. They had to give me oxygen, because I was getting so tired. I pushed when I felt the contractions, then I’d catch my breath in between contractions. The nurses brought in a mirror so I could see my progress. I saw through the mirror her head crowning and I all of a sudden, mid contraction, smiled and said “aw” then continued to moan.

Seeing her in the mirror encouraged me to keep pushing. It gave me hope and motivation. They told me I had to push and get this baby out ASAP. I didn’t know this at the time but apparently, baby girl’s heart was decelerating and she was in distress. They needed me to push her out right away before things got worse.

After a final good, hard push, her head came out, but I still had to push her body out. Another hard push, and out she came.

It’s crazy to think that somehow my perineum stretched and pushed this baby girl out, without even tearing!

They put my baby on my chest after I pushed her out and the nurses kept shaking her and warming her up but there was no response. There was no cry, no movements from her. I wasn’t aware of what was happening. I saw my husband cut the umbilical cord and I yelled “NO! Stop it! I wanted to do delayed cord clamping!” My midwife looked at me, and said “Your baby isn’t well, we need to take her.” I was so confused! I thought everything was fine! What did they mean my baby wasn’t well??

Apparently, my baby was in distress as I was pushing – her heart rate was dropping with each contraction. The nursing staff, OB and my doula were all aware of baby’s distress, but didn’t want to worry me and throw off my oxytocin.

Apparently she had fluid in her lungs and had swallowed some meconium. The cord was also wrapped around her body, so with each contraction, it got tighter and tighter around her body, causing the distress. They tried to suction out the fluid, but she wasn’t responding. They decided to take her to the NICU, so she could be monitored and treated adequately. I told my husband to go with her and watch her.

In the NICU, they put a tube down her throat to suck out any extra fluid. They monitored her fluid and Oxygen stats, then put her under an oxygen hood.

I didn’t get to go see her till about 6:00pm (two hours after I delivered).

I went to the NICU and she still wasn’t doing well. I asked the NICU staff if I could do some skin to skin with her even with her hooked up to the monitors. The staff hesitated, I guess no one has asked to do this. They agreed, and helped me get her skin to skin with all the cords attached to her. I held her skin to skin for about two hours.

I’d like to say that her vitals improved and she was doing much better. I attribute that to the skin to skin. They agreed to release her from the NICU that evening.

There was SO much prayer going on, and praise God she’s doing great! She stayed in the bedroom with us and everything worked out!

There were a few things that happened post delivery that I had no idea happened. I thought you delivered the baby then placenta, then that was kind of it… but there are actually a bunch of things that happen

A fundal massage, also known as a uterine massage, is not a nice relaxing massage as one might think, but it’s actually pretty painful. The point of a fundal massage is to help the uterus contract to expel blood and blood clots. It is supposed to reduce the risk of hemorrhages. One of the nurses performed the uterine massage for me by pressing firmly on my abdomens multiple times. Loads of blood and several blood clots came flying out as she did this. It was crazy. She did this several times until nothing came out.

Shaking was something I was VERY surprised with! About 30 minutes after delivery, as they were cleaning things up and after my baby was taken to the NICU, my entire body started shaking like crazy. My teeth were chattering non stop and I felt so cold! They put very heavy blankets on me, but I was still shaking. This shaking lasted about 15 minutes for me and it is due to your hormones readjusting as well as the rush of adrenaline.

Honestly, I was kind of happy I didn’t have my baby at the time, because this shaking was uncontrollable; I feel like I would’ve dropped my baby if she was with me.

I am SO SO happy I delivered at 4:02 pm because they brought dinner at 5pm and I was RAVENOUS! Like extreme hunger! I don’t think I’ve ever been so hungry in my life! I gobbled up the entire entree and still felt like I could eat 3-4 more plates. I’m so so So happy I brought a whole bag of snacks and meals in my hospital bag because I definitely ate almost everything there. I definitely encourage all expectant mothers to bring snacks and meals in your hospital bag!

I knew I was going to bleed for several weeks after delivery. This is called lochia, and I was prepared with my jumbo pads, but the amount of blood I’d have, I wasn’t so sure. I had to change my jumbo pads every 2 hours. Every time I peed, I felt like I was just peeing blood. The entire toilet bowl was literally just blood; it was kind of scary. I definitely didn’t know how much blood I was going to lose. This is why having good sources of iron rich food is so important post delivery. They will give you iron supplements at the hospital, which I encourage you take.

1. honey sticks! I brought honey sticks in my hospital bag,and I’m so happy I did! I would take quick sucks in between contractions and I felt like it gave me a burst of energy. It’s not enough to make you feel sick or fill your stomach, just enough to give you some energy.
2. a water bottle with a straw! The straw is a huge must, because when you’re feeling fatigue and sick, you just want to keep your head down, so drinking from a straw is helpful
3. Peppermint essential oil! There were SO many times I felt like I was going to throw up. The pain made me feel super nauseous. Smelling the peppermint essential oil, definitely helped my nausea. Besides throwing up in the morning, where I didn’t smell the peppermint, I didn’t throw up the rest of the time.
4. Eye mask and ear plugs! There are so many sounds and lights in the hospital. The nursing staff coming in and out of your rooms. It was really nice to block the light and plug out the extra noise of a hospital. I feel like I got more sleep, than if I hadn’t brought it. I even used my eye mask in the recovery room. I didn’t use the ear plugs after I had the baby though, because obviously I needed to now hear her.
5. Pillow from home! The pillows they give at the hospital, just aren’t comfortable

So my take away… Labor is rough! But I was also told that it’s typically not THAT painful, and the pain was mostly due to the pitocin. Everyone was so impressed that I labored naturally with no pain meds, even with pitocin.

I didn’t tear – thank goodness! and I think it’s because I only pushed when I felt the contractions. I didn’t force any pushes because someone told me to, which happens with an epidural since you can’t feel anything. I pushed when my body told me to.

My recovery has been great! I was walking around immediately and didn’t feel overly tired.

It wasn’t the birth that I expected, but everything worked out in the end. I saw my “Birth Plan” afterwards and it’s funny how far off it was. I had asked to labor naturally – I was on pitocin. I had asked to do delayed cord clamping – didn’t happen because she had to be taken to the warmer. I had asked to do immediate skin to skin – didn’t happen since she was taken away. In the end though, it doesn’t matter… both baby and I are healthy and doing well and that’s all that matters.